DISCLAIMER: NO TLDR VERSION. THIS IS ALL TRUE, EXCEPT FOR THE NAMES. I ACKNOWLEDGE MY OWN STUPIDITY AT THIS STORY. I REGRET SOME PARTS OF IT, BUT NOT EVERYTHING, IT WAS FUN AT LEAST. AND FINALLY, I DID NOT ASK YOU TO READ SO IF YOU DON'T WANT - JUST DON'T DO IT.
It was a nice sunny day in the city of Le Moscau. I woke up, produced some shit and went to my friend's birthday party. Now who is who. You know me. The girl that was having a bday is the girl from my previous school, she is extremely hot, extremely single and she kinda likes me, not enough to be a boyfriend (yet) but more than regular friend (already). She was turning 17. Lets call her Ann. We were having the party at the house of Jess, cause her parents were away for 2 days. She is my friend as well but I do not like her as a girl (friendzoned, lol). She is also the girlfriend of my best friend. Ann invited like 6 or 7 people but because of different reasons they could not come, so it was me, Ann and Jess. Which is extremely cool, I wanted to have certain kind of fun with Ann and I knew that if I would succeed - Jess would be totally OK with that.
So I came to Jess' house, we had some lols together and then went to meet Ann cause she did not know the way from the subway station. In half an hour we were back at house with 2 bottles of Whiskey, 1 bottle of Vodka and 1 bottle of Champagne. We were supposed to wait for another girl (Mary) to come, but she was being late so we decided to start without her.
FROM THAT MOMENT ALL THE STUFF IS NOT REALLY IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER CAUSE I CANNOT REMEMBER EVERYTHING CLEARLY
We were just talking about random shit, drank once more. Tbh I do not remember how much we drank but at some point I realised that everything is fucked. First, we started playing football and I broke the plant of Jess. So she took it and started eating it. Ann joined her and I started crying "Stop eating him, dumbfucks, he is dead! We need to bury him!!!" so I took the plant and started to cut it to slices with that thingy which sharpens the pencils. Then Jess put the road cone on her head and started dancing. We drank more, we finished 1 bottle of Whiskey. Me and Jess started playing BF3 (she is a gamer, fuck yeah) powerswitching after each death. When we lost the round I fell on the floor and started crying that I am a shit soldier and I will never be able to protect my motherland. Then we took the balloon filled with helium, breathed it in and started talking with funny voices (I think we had half of Whiskey bottle left by that moment). Then we swere doing some random shit, calling random people and at some point I found myself lying on the floor with Ann literally as close to me as physically possible, with a shot of whiskey in my hand trying to make Jess' cat drink it. We were also filling baloons with water and throwing them out of the window. Then I can remember myself lying on the floor next to Ann trying to convince her to have sex. Blackout. Ann, Jess and me are lying next to each other like a roll made of bodies and kissing each other (in proper way) and also Ann was biting us for no reason. Blackout. Mary's face in front of me. She is angry. I am shouting that I am not drunk. She is upset and wants to leave us, so I grab her shoe and scream that she "shall not pass". No more whiskey, no more champagne. Blackout. Jess is lying naked on the floor under me and I am furiously fingering her. (I do not like her and she is gf of my best friend. I wanted to fuck Ann it all turned fucking wrong!) Blackout. Puke. Blackout.
MEANWHILE They were throwing party cake around the whole place. Shot glasses as well. Ann was puking at the washer so the water couldn't go away so yeah there was like 2-3 cm layer of water on the floor. Jess and Ann were trying to get water away but it was not happening (they forgot to actually close the tap lol). Door opens, Jess' mother comes. Fuck c:
BACK TO HOW I SAW IT I wake up without trousers, pants and socks on me but with a polo-shirt still on! I realise that I am lying on the couch. I can see girls in the balcony, still drunk talking about something. I found my trousers, put them on. Pants disappeared. I come to the balcony, silently sit near them and happily realise that they do not remember anything. But since everything was already fucked up we decided to finish vodka as well. Blackout. I am on balcony again. Jess goes to window and shows her tits to the street. I stand up and show my man nipples as well saying to Ann that we all did it and now it is her turn. Unfortunately, she did not D: Blackout. I am kissing someone again? Blackout. We are all on couch and we regret doing shit (well I was trying to look like I regret, but it was fucking awesome, just what I expected it to be). We decide to sleep on floor. Jess lies down on Ann's butt, I lie down on her boobs which are fucking massive. Somebody asks to watch a horror movie, so they put on Sinister. And well, to be honest, I FUCKING HATE HORRORS. I am fine with games and stories but I hate movies, no reason for that. After 5 minutes of watching I realise that these bitches fell asleep leaving me alone with the movie. And I am ready to shit myself (it is actually quite scary if you watch it alone at night with no lights and phones turned off and stuff). I stop that shit and like half of movie because I cant take it anymore. I turn on Django unchained to distract myself from a serial killer. Cool movie, never heard so many "niggers" in one movie. It is full with it. So I also watched Dictator and Superhero movie that night and also watched Django for second time cause #SWAG. I slept for like 1 or 2 hours in the morning. Like from 9 in the morning till 10.
CONCLUSION: From one point of view it was fun and just what I expected it to be. From another point of view I made a horrible mistake but nobody remembers it (or maybe they just do not say it!). Tomorrow (or today, cause I am not sleeping this night too) I am going to Offspring concert with Ann. After she saw my dick and I was trying to have sex with her .__.
Oh yes, and Jess' mother was absolutely fine with what has happened cause she knew that something like that would happen, only in soviet russia
We also have some videos but I deleted everything I had on myd evices cause it is just wrong.
It was a nice sunny day in the city of Le Moscau. I woke up, produced some shit and went to my friend's birthday party. Now who is who. You know me. The girl that was having a bday is the girl from my previous school, she is extremely hot, extremely single and she kinda likes me, not enough to be a boyfriend (yet) but more than regular friend (already). She was turning 17. Lets call her Ann. We were having the party at the house of Jess, cause her parents were away for 2 days. She is my friend as well but I do not like her as a girl (friendzoned, lol). She is also the girlfriend of my best friend. Ann invited like 6 or 7 people but because of different reasons they could not come, so it was me, Ann and Jess. Which is extremely cool, I wanted to have certain kind of fun with Ann and I knew that if I would succeed - Jess would be totally OK with that.
So I came to Jess' house, we had some lols together and then went to meet Ann cause she did not know the way from the subway station. In half an hour we were back at house with 2 bottles of Whiskey, 1 bottle of Vodka and 1 bottle of Champagne. We were supposed to wait for another girl (Mary) to come, but she was being late so we decided to start without her.
FROM THAT MOMENT ALL THE STUFF IS NOT REALLY IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER CAUSE I CANNOT REMEMBER EVERYTHING CLEARLY
We were just talking about random shit, drank once more. Tbh I do not remember how much we drank but at some point I realised that everything is fucked. First, we started playing football and I broke the plant of Jess. So she took it and started eating it. Ann joined her and I started crying "Stop eating him, dumbfucks, he is dead! We need to bury him!!!" so I took the plant and started to cut it to slices with that thingy which sharpens the pencils. Then Jess put the road cone on her head and started dancing. We drank more, we finished 1 bottle of Whiskey. Me and Jess started playing BF3 (she is a gamer, fuck yeah) powerswitching after each death. When we lost the round I fell on the floor and started crying that I am a shit soldier and I will never be able to protect my motherland. Then we took the balloon filled with helium, breathed it in and started talking with funny voices (I think we had half of Whiskey bottle left by that moment). Then we swere doing some random shit, calling random people and at some point I found myself lying on the floor with Ann literally as close to me as physically possible, with a shot of whiskey in my hand trying to make Jess' cat drink it. We were also filling baloons with water and throwing them out of the window. Then I can remember myself lying on the floor next to Ann trying to convince her to have sex. Blackout. Ann, Jess and me are lying next to each other like a roll made of bodies and kissing each other (in proper way) and also Ann was biting us for no reason. Blackout. Mary's face in front of me. She is angry. I am shouting that I am not drunk. She is upset and wants to leave us, so I grab her shoe and scream that she "shall not pass". No more whiskey, no more champagne. Blackout. Jess is lying naked on the floor under me and I am furiously fingering her. (I do not like her and she is gf of my best friend. I wanted to fuck Ann it all turned fucking wrong!) Blackout. Puke. Blackout.
MEANWHILE They were throwing party cake around the whole place. Shot glasses as well. Ann was puking at the washer so the water couldn't go away so yeah there was like 2-3 cm layer of water on the floor. Jess and Ann were trying to get water away but it was not happening (they forgot to actually close the tap lol). Door opens, Jess' mother comes. Fuck c:
BACK TO HOW I SAW IT I wake up without trousers, pants and socks on me but with a polo-shirt still on! I realise that I am lying on the couch. I can see girls in the balcony, still drunk talking about something. I found my trousers, put them on. Pants disappeared. I come to the balcony, silently sit near them and happily realise that they do not remember anything. But since everything was already fucked up we decided to finish vodka as well. Blackout. I am on balcony again. Jess goes to window and shows her tits to the street. I stand up and show my man nipples as well saying to Ann that we all did it and now it is her turn. Unfortunately, she did not D: Blackout. I am kissing someone again? Blackout. We are all on couch and we regret doing shit (well I was trying to look like I regret, but it was fucking awesome, just what I expected it to be). We decide to sleep on floor. Jess lies down on Ann's butt, I lie down on her boobs which are fucking massive. Somebody asks to watch a horror movie, so they put on Sinister. And well, to be honest, I FUCKING HATE HORRORS. I am fine with games and stories but I hate movies, no reason for that. After 5 minutes of watching I realise that these bitches fell asleep leaving me alone with the movie. And I am ready to shit myself (it is actually quite scary if you watch it alone at night with no lights and phones turned off and stuff). I stop that shit and like half of movie because I cant take it anymore. I turn on Django unchained to distract myself from a serial killer. Cool movie, never heard so many "niggers" in one movie. It is full with it. So I also watched Dictator and Superhero movie that night and also watched Django for second time cause #SWAG. I slept for like 1 or 2 hours in the morning. Like from 9 in the morning till 10.
CONCLUSION: From one point of view it was fun and just what I expected it to be. From another point of view I made a horrible mistake but nobody remembers it (or maybe they just do not say it!). Tomorrow (or today, cause I am not sleeping this night too) I am going to Offspring concert with Ann. After she saw my dick and I was trying to have sex with her .__.
Oh yes, and Jess' mother was absolutely fine with what has happened cause she knew that something like that would happen, only in soviet russia
We also have some videos but I deleted everything I had on myd evices cause it is just wrong.
![[Image: r212360a129ce9b84444093b6cd2699013a1fbn155.png]](http://roflsaurus.com/users/public/r212360a129ce9b84444093b6cd2699013a1fbn155.png)
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![[Image: MaEIQ.png]](http://i.imgur.com/MaEIQ.png)
